![]() Men showed zero consideration for anticipating the future repercussions of their decisions.Men were willing to go for high BDP women in both short and long term romantic relationships.Attractiveness was the number one priority for men.Is anyone else surprised? Behind such funny and relatable content is invariably truth. Deep down, guys are really shallow and women are gold diggers. It proves exactly what we thought it would. RELATED: How To Take A Good Dick Pic: A Complete Guide. *Is it is a coincidence that ‘unicorn’ is the same term for a bisexual woman who moonlights in a no-strings-attached threesome? The Unicorn Zone*: mythical and elusive, near-extinct attractive group of women who are hardly crazy, but a 10 hot (“Capture it safely, keep it alive… we would like to study it.”).The Wife Zone: women who are very attractive but only slightly crazy.The Date Zone: attractive women who are a little bit crazy.The Fun Zone: women who are moderately attractive and not too crazy.The Danger Zone: women who are very attractive, but very crazy (“This is where your tyres get slashed and you end up in jail.”).The No Go Zone: women who are both unattractive and crazy.The Universal Hot Crazy Matrixįor those playing along at home, McLendon identifies… His views were expanded upon by gun-toting Texan Lawyer Dana McLendon, whose OG YouTube lecture and subsequent copies are still educating millions of us to this day. A girl or guy is allowed to be as equally crazy as they are hot. Barney’s guiding principle was equilibrium. In case you need a refresher, the Hot Crazy Matrix maps a person’s level of ‘hotness’ (looks), against their level of ‘crazy’ (personality). Want even more? Subscribe to my newsletter to get roundups, book recs and lifestyle tips.The pseudo-science behind Barney Stinson’s Hot Crazy Matrix (HCM) from How I Met Your Mother is now officially backed by a proper UK research study. To see more writing from me, be sure to subscribe to The Bitter Lemon by clicking “subscribe” on the right side of your screen. I think it’s time this crazy cowgirl hopped on a horse in search of a watering hole where my kind will be – something tells me Miranda Lambert will be there, and I’m okay with that. And guys wonder why we drink wine every night and eat loads of pizza! Well, because cheese happens, and wine washes away our shame from actually eating, and from going off-the-charts crazy. This leads me to the other problem with the Crazy Hot Matrix: the shame. I’m just another crazy one, flailing her arms for attention. I’m no longer that fantastical pony with glittery hair (#goals). I feel like whatever fire was between us, has fizzled, because I did the ultimate thing you’re not supposed to do - I acted crazy. There were tumbleweeds and rusted spurs, until I called him and we agreed it was a miscommunication.īut if I’m being totally honest, I can’t shake it. I wanted an apology and he wasn’t going to give it. My crush and I were in a little bit of a stand-off after I tried to explain myself to him. ![]() So, here’s the part the Crazy Hot Matrix fails to explain: what happens to all of us in the “No Zone”? I’ve tried for years to either hide it, or pretend shit doesn’t bother me, because dammit, I’m not crazy, I’m a pretty little unicorn! I’ve got insecurities, daddy issues, and baggage out of my ass. He’s successful, attractive, loves kids and animals, and he even calls me sometimes - really, it’s overwhelming how all-around hot he is.Īnd then there’s me. I told him I could “take a hint.” So, I put my phone on silent and tried my damnedest to remove him from my brain (read: I went shopping).īut here’s the thing. As a relationship columnist, blogger, and author, nearly every romantic interaction I’ve had is out there for anyone to read.Īnd, being a writer, I analyze everything.Ī few weekends ago, a guy I’ve had a crush on for most of my life, really did something to grind my gears.įrom my perspective, he was attempting to blow me off by continually telling me how busy he was. One thing I’ve noticed in the past month is that I’ve got a lot of things working against me in the crazy department. It can shut down an entire argument with just one word. How’s that for crazy?Ī guy calling a girl crazy is a very simple, easy way of dismissing our feelings. Stop being crazy.”Īnd in that moment, I want light his car on fire. “Holly, I told you I had to do this one thing today. This results in me getting huffy, and the guy delivers one of these bombs: When a guy has one thing on his to-do list, and that one thing is absolutely more important than the 100 things I’ve got on mine. When I’ve done these so-called “crazy” things, they have always been fueled by someone, usually a man, doing something to piss me off.
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